{ i know now }

The very worst part
the minute you think your past it
it starts all over again.
you cant control it
The best we can do is to let ourselves
feel it
when it comes
and let it go when we can
and
always
everytime
it takes your breath away....


That is why an encounter with Christ leaves us so joyful, happy, hopeful. Last night, after talking to a friend back home about everything, he gave me a piece of scripture to read. Normally, when i read something from the bible it takes longer than the moment its read for it to sink in and mean something in my life. It doesnt work instantly for me, it works its way in and surprises me with hidden meaning.


It was psalm 143:8


At dawn let me hear of you kindness,
for in you I trust.
Show me the path i should walk,
for in you i hope.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.


but this time was different.
After reading this
i let myself cry
i let myself take in the truth
i let myself see things as they are and know that everything will be alright
with prayer and with time.


we are broken and it is only He who can show us reality, show us how to become more and more the people we were created to be. i took the advice of a strong women and i prayed. i prayed while reading her given scripture in proverbs...


Theres a bigger plan out there for me. Its scary for me to say that, not scary, but real.
and i never thought i would become this person. 
a person who whole heartedly believes that God has a plan.
a plan for you 
a plan for me
a plan for every single person on this earth
Like the childhhood/TEC song, " he's got the whole world in his hands"
:)
He really does. Now i know. 
It took planning, a plane ride, three letters and a broken heart for me to clearly see what i have been searching for since the first day of r.c.i.a. I've been searching for Him. To see Him and His love for me!

I can see it and i'm so happy that's Hes worked my life to this point.


I've become so grateful for the people he has placed in my life.


My friends who see my pain
 dont pat me on the back and tell me "it'll be alright"
they pass along the word of God 
because they know that i'll find more comfort with those words than i will with a pat on the back. 


I will continue to pray
I will continue to love
Thats how you stay alive