....Smile because it happened

I want to go 
I want to stay 


always conflicting 

This whole week has been, {and will continue to be} a combination of studying and partying. 

Everyday is a final exam
Everynight is a goodbye party

People are starting to leave and its now becoming real
that i have to leave this place
this place where so many memories exist, i have to leave
and most likely never return, to this spot, with these people. 

I have to pack

{sigh}

I have to say good-bye...I have to get on a plane..I have to come home

I hate good-byes, i was never good at them.
Every summer, when we visit our family in California, 
I'm always the first one to start crying
always
no matter what. 
I don't know why


I suppose I don't like the feeling of knowing
for that one small chance
that i may never see them again. 
This is my reality right now..I might never see these faces again! 
Never to smile, laugh, correcting english...with these people. 

Last night, at our little group good-bye dinner
Adriano offered some very wise advice
as i was beginning to become quite sad at the thought of missing everyone
he said to me...


"Don't cry because its over
Smile because it happened" 

I know i've heard it before, but
it meant something entirely new to hear it come out of his mouth. 

I will come home with much,much more than i could have ever imagined.
I will come home with a smile on my face....